Today's the last day of the year, and like any other blog, an entry is simply not the same if you don't at least have a post on 'reminiscing the year' or on making resolutions (talk about being a groupie).

Now let's see.. what have I done in 2004?

1. I graduated earlier this year. After two months of battling (I meant that) with the postgraduate centre - they were darn too picky with trivial stuffs such as the margin, the ink I used to sign my research paper and best of all, their forms kept on changing.

2. Got a job soon after. I have to remind myself constantly why I chose to work at the very same place that caused me so much anguish (refer to the above). But the benefits of being here far exceeds the cost (hah, talk about being an economist) so I'm willing to settle. I consider myself lucky for experiencing that unemployment phase for just about two months and worked as a menial surveyor in-between. Others may not be so lucky.

3. Presented a paper at an international seminar. Got loads of praises and criticisms for it.

4. Got one bitter lady very angry all due to some miscommunication. Correction, she's angry cos she insisted to take things the wrong way all the time. For those busy-bodies, snoop here. And here.

5. I got engaged in June. My (then) bf proposed in style.

6. Worked my butt out for the next six months to save for the wedding (I see this as a personal victory)

7. I got married earlier this month, to the most perfect man I could ever prayed for. I'm not just saying that cos I married him, I said that because he is exactly the person I prayed for, literally. For those of you who have been reading my rants, you might be aware of the hideous end to my last relationship. The night it all ended, I prayed in-between tears to give me strength to move on and to make me strong so that I won't do anything stupid. At the end of my prayers, I kneeled and pleaded for His grace and for His compassion that should I ever be given the chance to love again, make that the real thing for I am just too tired to end up in such a predicament again. I prayed to meet a man who understands and stands me, a man that will love me unconditionally as I will love him, a man that doesn't need to lie to impress me.. and so many other non-physical qualities that I only learnt to mean so much after what happened. Amusingly, being the 'rupalistik' that I am, I didn't forget to add (just in case He listens to all my pleas, as they say, doa orang yang dikhianat insya-Allah makbul) that it would be a bonus if the man is taller, cute according to my liking and speaks good English (hehe, can aah doa camtu??). Alhamdulillah, I have met that man less than a year later, and through the most bizarre way. I hope this marriage never ends, unlike my parents, as I've seen how horrid a broken family can be. December 5th shall be our anniversary date.

One of my good friend at university had a terrible news to share with me last night. Apparently this happened over two weeks ago but she didn't inform me earlier cos I was too busy with the wedding and all. Her so-called boyfriend of three years got engaged to someone else. And the best part? She didn't know it from him, but through other not-so-close friends. And she only knew about it, the night before his engagement. I don't know what hurts more, her pride or me listening to that piece of news.

Like, what was that all about? How could you not tell your girlfriend you're getting engaged with someone else? No, correction. How could you get engaged with someone else when you're going out with somebody?? I was very sad for her cos I know how hurtful that must be. I found out an ex going out with somebody behind my back and already I chased him with laser-beams (metaphoriaclly, of course). What more, in her case, he's getting engaged. That's just one step from getting married. She went over to his house that very night and saw canopies all yellow and grand-looking. God, that must've been awful. She caught a glimpse of him but couldn't bring herself to call him out. So she called him later. He said it was a planned marriage. Yeah.. that's what they all say.

When I asked her how she's doing now, she said she's coping. But she knew only too well to ask for my opinion (or something soothing to say) cos she knew how I felt towards the guy in the first place.

The thing was, back three years ago, when she first started (seriously) seeing this dude, I had my reservations, mainly cos

a. He works with ships, as in, his position is in-between being a captain and a plain 'kelasi'
b. He travels often, like maybe 6-8 months on the sea
c. Only sees her a year minus (b) above
d. His tangan very the 'menyotong' only after two weeks of becoming an item.. how'd I know that? Let's just say my girlfriend here ain't the type that keeps *ehem* closed things to herself. Not that I'm listening of course..

They had a long history back. According to her, he's been pursuing her since high school (they went to the same school, with him being a year older). But she declined his approaches -don't know why but my hunch was that she was waiting for better, potential candidates. Then they got seperated (though they still kept in touch through calls or mails) all throughout college and met again later in our second year. That's when my friend here finally accepted him, after seeing how dedicated he was all those years in getting her. I don't exactly know to what extent this guy got her, if you know what I mean, cos I left university earlier than the rest, so I wasn't that up-to-date with their story.

But I gather they weren't that too, er, how should I put it, 'terpesong' cos she has some good religious backgroud *coughs*.. oh, but you never know right? *Ish Viv, horror nye you kutuk member*

Anyway, the point is, I had that intuition the guy was dodgy and I made it pretty clear to her. I recall vividly how she and my other hommies looked at me upsettingly for conveying my honest opinion. After that, I just went zip and allowed her to be dragged into the relationship.

I guess it took her some strength to tell me what happened. I knew it was not just because of the wedding that she didn't tell me this earlier. I think she knows I might've been right all along. But of course, one would never know for sure till it actually happened right?

What do you notice about our drivers? Apart from being utterly ruthless on the road (funny they appear quiet during meetings or somewhat polite in international conferences), there are those at the end of the spectrum who are too dense for words I don't know how they managed to get their licenses in the first place.

I absolutely hate drivers who 'perasan terrer' but are actually, to put it nicely, like 'kambing terlepas'. Imagine being high-beamed while you're driving on the middle lane. Hello? If you wanna drive fast so much, go cut me and drive on the right lane lah, that's what the fast lanes are for. Ni wanna eksyen, show terrer but konon only terrer cos they wanna drive fast but don't exactly have the balls to actually drive and speed.

Another group that annoys me stiff are those road hoggers a.k.a bodo-nak-mampus-tak-reti-drive-tu-don't lah-stay-on-the-fastest-lane. These are the type who, for the life of me, do not get the hint when being high-beamed.. or 'dicucuk' by really fast cars behind their (car) butts. They insist on driving so bloody slow (90 km/hr on a 110 stretch) regardless of the fact that other cars are zooming by, some honking and showing the finger. What are you trying to prove? That you are being safe by driving slow? That you are ethical for not risking lives? YOU are the one being unethical for driving on the lane not made for you. You are a sloooow being that out to be run down. If given the power, I would crash onto your car and end your ridiculuos principle. The hell with us who want to speed. It's our darn right to speed so please, damn it, let us speed. Besides, it's not as if you are paying our summons. These hoggers are extremely threatening to our lives (read: annoying to the max till we 'sakit hati') when you're driving along the PLUS highway heading south, where after Seremban the highway is just two lanes. So you either drive fast like everyone else or stay quiet behind those big trucks and cut once in a while.

What saddens me is the fact that most of them hoggers (that I happen to zoom by) are women, wearing scarves and driving kancils. Urghhh.. don't lah drag me into your dimwittines (I know, non-existent word. Me don't care). Since most of these hoggers are of that type, it makes me embarrassed to drive my beloved Ross (that's my 'lil runner btw) donning my present attire lest others would think I'm like that too. But guys, don't be too pleased with yourselves. There are men who hog the road too, y'know. In fact, this group is worse on my annoyance scale. They piss me of in that they drive slow on the fast lane, but when we wanna cut them, they feel as if 'ego tercabar' and drive faster on purpose so that we can't go by. Stoopid mothertoot.

Hey guys, Santa's coming to town and i've got a wedding-cum-dinner invitation tomorrow night. The happy couple was my junior at uni and they're having their wedding at a rented banglo somewhere in Shah Alam. Hubby will come over tonight (it's his turn this week) and off we'll go to my dad's.

I've been pretty unproductive lately, not just in work but also in my posts. All I talk about are weddings, wedding preparations, jilted brides, runaway grooms.. you get my drift.

I'm turning boring by the minute. So, c'mon folks, gimme something (fun) to yak about. Please.

Oh, and Merry Christmas.

I know this is old news.. but anyway, WHAT the hell was this??

The thing about being married (for women, at least) is that everybody knows about it even without us informing them. Simply look at our henna-ed fingers and palms, everyone will gleam at the hint. Of course, there are those not-too-quick ones who need to ask 'napa pakai inai?'

This will then lead you to face loads of merry faces, gushing 'congratulations' and 'selamat pengantin baru'.. women would embrace you and salam you. Some will even give light kisses on your cheeks in the process. I dunno how guys greet their newly-wedded counterparts, but I sure hope they don't do what we do! That's utterly gayish (though it seems fine when we do it. Heh). Suffice to say, it's great to be Malaysians, where good news (not to mention bad news) travel around fast.

But there are also those with extra meaningful looks who slyly ask 'So, how's married life?'. Er, I've only been married for like, two weeks, how the hell would I know? Should there be ultimate differences? Don't feel any so far. Except of course, you ain't no longer virginal. Ahh.. so that's what they mean. Some aren't so subtle and go direct to the point, 'Sakit tak?'. Adeyy.. should I even begin to disclose my intimate moments to you? Unless you are my bestest of the best of friends, I will definitely not divulge. But when they come from your hommies, those girls you knew since college, it's hard to be reserved. I find the whole incident (the Q&As, that is. Not my nights) pretty funny actually. Again, do guys face this same situation? I haven't asked my hubby yet.. but I find it highly unlikely.

My students are another funny beings. They kept on staring at my hands. Please-lah, look at me. Or the board. I'm talking here. But they turn out sweet in the end. My days, both yesterday and today, were filled with great wishes. Amin to that.

So our life (hey, like the sound of that) as weekend husband and wife, or plain nomads, begins. It's alternate weeks for each of us to travel along the PLUS highway. Marriage itself sure ain't easy and this just adds to its complexity. May the force be with us.

I will post some pics soon. The ones in digital forms are at (my other) home. With me now are from my photographer. Speaking of which, the staff at the department haven't returned it to me yet. Aight, gotta run now. Till later guys.

I can't believe I'm getting married in six days. That's less than a week and man, it's this weekend! While the rest of my household (that's my parents and 'lil sis) are busy keeping the house and preparations in order, here I am still at work, typing in my blog to boot.. now before you think I'm such a skiver for burning up my parents' pockets and not doing anything, rest assured I do have my share of pain-ass work.

I'm in charged of all the 'hantarans' -purchasing the items and decorating them. Yessir, I'm doing my own hantarans. Now that never fails to make my friends laugh. I've never once came close to being ladylike in school, let alone sew any holes (of an outfit, ok), so they're pretty shocked to learn that I didn't send those stuffs off to some professional. Hey, it's all part of cost-saving. I'm quite surprised to actually enjoy doing them myself. Meet Viv, the domestic goddess! Hurhur.

I'm also handling, what I call, my vanity stuffs. They are the 'nikah', reception and 'bertandang' dresses, shoes, scarves, makeup (I do wanna look beautiful on one of the most important days of my life. Can look like a zombie and be messy-me for the remaining lifetime), 'pelamin' (wedding dias), bunga telur, doorgifts to guests, bedroom, half of the canopy payment, wedding cards, photographers, videos.. letsee, did I miss anything? Oh yeah, the 'bunga penanggah'.. y'know those corsage-looking thing the gophers wear on their chests.

My other sister's helping out with the signs and paying for my 'makanan beradap'. She'll start her leave on Friday (due to her hectic schedule, she couldn't possibly leave work earlier) and will be my unwilling assistant. My bestfriends will drop by, one on Thursday, the other on Friday to help give constructive criticisms and aid on my handiwork (or 'tumpang gelak' at the hantarans, whichever way you look at it). The 'majlis khatam Qur'an' will be on the wedding eve, 'nikah' the next morning and the reception that same afternoon. I pray the weather will be fine. It's been rainy all last week, I'm close to tears.

Class ended early today, so I'm free for the rest of the day unless some kiddies appear and beg me to take them in my classes. I start my leave tomorrow and shall be away for two weeks. Our honeymoon is set at Langkawi. Ahh, the joy. Hope things would go well and as planned.

Girls, does it bother you to eat alone at a fast food joint? Do you find it sad if you shop alone?

When i was a mindless young thing, I used to mutter to myself "kesiannye orang tu takde kawan.." if I spot a girl (funny why the same thought never applies to guys) sitting at a corner all by herself either at a restaurant, at Mcdonald's or at the park. As I said, I was a kid. Full of shallowness and viewed life only worthy if you had loads of friends around you. You were at that stage when you would rather be dead that caught sitting alone. Conscious fools to the max, I'd say. Dunno why that happens. I guess being alone sends out some sort of stigma or something.. well, at least to a yound mind.

Now that I'm older (and hopefully, wiser), I still don't eat out alone on a regular basis *sheepish*.. but I would forgo that so-called principle in case of emergency. If I truly am famished or would instantly faint if I don't sit now and have a meal, I would order and eat on my own. And it's amazing that when I have solo meals, I do sense some little girls looking at me with pity. Hehe. Talk about a blast from the past. But I'm not mad at them.. they're just kids. One day you'll find all that normal, my dears.

As for shopping, I do shop by myself at times. In fact, I find that a lot more fruitful compared to shopping with friends, or especially, with our guys. Not that my fiancé's a bad shopping companion, he has his moments of making rounds at shopping complexes too, but I like to take my time while shopping (which I rarely do anyway) so I'd feel rather uncomfortable to make him wait. Or worse, make him follow me go to and fro between several shops comparing fabrics, colour and price.

watched 'the incredibles' the other day.. not bad-lah, but my laughing VEI* wasn't as big as compared to my watching 'finding nemo' or 'a bug's life'. then, i literally erupted with laughter and burst at my seat.

now if there's one message being depicted in the animation (apart from family ties, of course), it's definitely protecting your identity. the scene where all super heroes were forced to join 'non-supers' and put under protection/custodial program was pretty hilarious. anyway, what's all this got to do with today's post? well, it's just that. my identity is as confidential to me as it is to mr. incredible and his family.

i hope i cause no offense to anyone, especially those wonderful individuals who have graciously asked or insinuated to meet up in person. it's not that a) i sombong, b) perasan bagus or c) i'm not comfortable in my own skin.. it's just that i like it this way. i prefer to keep my private life -my face, my physique and my real name for that matter- private. yeah, it's such a paradox having it blogged on though, but the way i write it is somewhat vague. i never mention anything in specific, from the restaurant to the date, unless i want to. so by that, i still feel protected (from what? aiya, anything-lah). so why go on blogging if i don't wish to meet anybody? that all boils down to why i blog. i didn't start this hobby to meet (as in greet, shake hands, yak in the usual sense) new people. i'm incredibly boring and enjoy the company of my small circle of friends. i just like to write (though am not that good) nonsensical stuffs -hence the title of this blog. nonetheless, i do treasure each and every one of my blogpals. i adore them so much that i check out their blogs almost everyday to see what's up with their lives or what's new in their rants. i like learning new things and seeing life in different perspectives.. just that i doubt we would meet now or in the future. uh, hope i didn't put my foot in mouth. heh. it's just me being honest. hm, maybe i should place a disclaimer.. now that's a thought.


* in case you're wondering, it's Volcanic Explosivity Index.

what's the difference between malay businesses and other businesses? the former's not professional *sing-song tune*. perhaps not all in totality, but certainly this particular place i have the misfortune of doing business with.

i booked my 'mandi lulur' (one of those things future pengantins don't have to do but do anyway) last saturday and was dismayed to find the beauty house closed. it was appalling, especially so since i booked the darn appointment. i immediately called the owner to know what happened. she said she wasn't aware of any appointments that day (what?!), explaining that maybe her assistant 'lupa nak bagitau cik' that the centre would be closed till monday. mungkin lupa?? ayoo.. how u do business lah?u don't put important dates in diary ke? too tired to argue, i asked if i had to re-book my booking. she said no need and asked me to contact her assistant on monday. huh? you made the slip and i have to call? shouldn't it be the other way around? she apologized profusely.. but the damage is done.

that's not the bad part. the saddest thing is, it just dawned to me how pitiable my financial condition is.. how terribly low my purchasing ability is at the moment. if i have enough dough, i wouldn't have cared a hoop to contact the same place. i would've taken myself (and money) to another place that is far more professional, that knows how to treat its customers. but after paying for the hantarans, the canopy, the door gifts, the wedding attires, the video, the photos, lingeries (heh, those purchases shall not be forgotten though am nearing 'brokesville').. i'm left with so little i couldn't possibly afford a decent spa treatment at martha tilaar or the like. instead, here i am succumbing to the same inefficient place just because it was recommended by a friend and relatively cheaper.

rats.