*yawn, stretch*.. my feet are tired for climbing those flight of stairs a gazillion times .. my bum hurts for sitting too long (didn't think this was possible) & my eyes are looking more crossed than ever for staring at those survey forms! that, ladies & gents, just about sums up my day. heh.

so how'd ur weekend go? me? well, despite having one of the sweetest bfs around, i had a weekend just like any other. eh, come to think of it, it's a lot plainer than usual cos normally, we'd catch a movie at least. last weekend however, there weren't even trips to 1utama. no chocolates, let alone flowers (heck, i knew this one's coming).. no dinner. though we did go to the pasar malam in front of my house. oh yeah, we watched man. utd vs man city later. as the furnitures in my living room were recently shifted about, there wasn't any long sofa facing the telly directly. so no cuddling either. as i sat crossed leg on one sofa, he laid sprawled on the other. we held hands though, in which mine was occasionally clasped real tight, not with passion but with excitement every time man. u scores. uhuh.. my man totally brings romanticism to a new level. hehehe. even with all that, i'm still very much smittened (amidst my subtle whines & eye-rolling of course). lucky sod.

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on a different note, i had the chance of dropping by some of my fave blogs this morning prior to my eye-crossing & bum-tormenting vocation. one that caught my attention was ellene's. her gloom got me thinking to myself half the day (when i wasn't actually doing work or busy rubbing my sore behind). why do partners (obviously, not of a law firm) sometime hang to momentos of the past although they're in a new relationship? what say u? how'd u react (i'm not asking how u'd FEEL cos it's bloody obvious isn't it -we'd inevitably feel angry, sad, hurt or surprised at least) if one day, while cleaning up ur bf's drawers (the act, whether on purpose or not is not the issue), u spot some of his pics with an ex-girlfriend? guys, how'd u react if ur girl still keeps some of the jiwang-till-u-gag love letters her ex used to give her?

i've experienced this a couple of times. one was with X. i was at his house doing god-knows what when i spotted a card & an ear stud he received from his ex. the things written inside were enough to set me off laughing cos they were of horrid grammar (not that mine's particularly wow.. but still, he kept that). i didn't ask him anything cos it was no biggie. second was with my current sweetie. i was looking for a piece of paper that he said was kept in this drawer when i accidentally (honest, it was an accident) spotted his old filofax. ok, admittedly i should've just shove it back in there & went ahead with my initial search. but c'mon, wouldn't u be curious? the cat in me was rearing it's ugly head so much that i couldn't resist. besides, i know myself well enough to know that there's nothing of the past that would bother me. unless they're graphic, haha.. now that's a different story. nway, his old organiser was filled with some jottings bla bla.. then a piece stood out. a note from his ex wishing him luck or something. like the last time, i didn't confront him cos it really is no big deal.

frankly, these things don't really bug me cos i know the guy's with me now.. although, it wouldn't hurt if he doesn't keep any historic artifacts. that would certainly earn him more brownie points. i personally don't have any remainings from my exes. except their presents.. hehe, loathe the guy but keep the diamonds what. but no love letters, no mushy poems or soppy cards whatsoever in my library. just not my style. i'm not sure i like the idea of past ghosts haunting me in my present, happy relationship. what more if the ghost is of his past.

meaningful, don't u think?

The Trouble With Love Is - Kelly Clarkson

been pretty busy the last couple of days. it's bad enough i'm doing double the workload cos one of the research officers went away for his kpli appointment, now my head (ketua, not my head) who has a heart bigger than Carebear wishes to assist her colleague on that person's project! we had to review all the materials from scratch with the deadline being in 2 weeks.. and guess who had to do the questionnaire AND master coding? yeay.

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anyway, V-day's around the corner. so what? big deal? yeah.. i know most of u are probably rolling ur eyes this very minute, demanding 'can't i pleease read a blog without the mere mention of that boring VD word for once??'. can't blame u guys. i am totally with aida in that we 'hate all those clever marketing people who lure us poor consumers into buying that big hoopla called Valentine's Day'. the day's over-rated really. minus the date & the fact that it falls on a saturday (how convenient), it's just like any other day.

then why, for the life of me, am i looking forward to it? argh!! nooo... i'm wailing cos i'm becoming a big, tall jelly, joining the ranks of those giddy girls who giggle at anything remotely romantic. but please, spare me the 'cheh, aparaa..' yah. i have my reasons as to WHY Valentine's Day has a spot in me. valid or not, they're justified by my standards. hehe. ok, so let's hear 'em..

1. my bf & i rarely meet. the usual get-together would be every 2-3 weeks and when he does come over, we usually have other social obligations to attend to (friends gatherings, member kahwin etc).. so as u all may have guessed, i miss him.

2. my ex (huh? did u read correctly? yeah, u did. just go on) spoilt me rotten. he was the kind of guy who'd shower u with gifts (we celebrated our 'anniversary' every month. now that's cheesy!), bring u flowers (a dozen, no less), phone u daily, call u 'princess', pay for everything, demand u to sit back & relax while he gushes over the food/drinks/chair/movie tix etc, open the door for u (yess, he does that), buy anything that u so much as go 'hey, that's nice' to... get my drift? being 20 & somewhat in love, i thought all that constitute what love is. now that i'm grown up (or at least parts of me), i realised that those were not the qualities that i needed in a guy. perhaps they were what i wanted, but certainly not needed. i learnt that gifts & presents aren't promises, kisses aren't contracts and most of all, blind loyalty & being a gentleman don't always count to something. i caught that very same guy cheating on me on V-day. no, not in bed with another chic or anything like it but having a romantic, candle-lit dinner at a fancy restaurant. somehow, the effect was pretty devastating.

er, where am i heading with this? ok for one thing, since i'm so used to being pampered, i kinda forgot on how to be my old 'macho' self who doesn't give a damn bout V-day. but seriously people, once u get that dose of attention, u get addicted. it's toxic. i'm not saying that i lost my head, or heart for that matter, cos i'm absolutely fine in all aspects (no psychotic tendencies). in fact, i'm so happy that my current bf is not at all like the previous joe. my guy's the kind who doesn't believe in giving a girl flowers often or take her to fancy dinners on occasions (it's superficial, he said. but i think it's becos he's plain lazy, hehe). simply said, he's the exact opposite where PDAs are concerned. but despite that, certain things remain -he's attentive, he listens (although not necessarily giving me what a girl needs to hear) & he makes time to talk to me everyday (being in a LDR, that's mighty important).

and the other thing is, i'd like not to be reminded by my friends that i was once chucked on V-day. if i act all grumpy or do that 'klcc face', they'd be sure to think that Ex still hurts me. where in fact, he doesn't. he cease to have any impact whatsoever on me. i have moved on & love my new relationship to bits. as a sign of me moving on, i'd like to rejoice not only V-day but every other day that i am a loving person. unfortunately, since the former has a greater effect compared to its 364 counterparts, guess that's why V-day is like, given 'extra' treatment.

arghhh!!!!

how was my day? good & crappy. it was pretty good in the morning but it went downhill after lunch and that previous outburst was made bcos i've just babbled a long entry but it went kaput. gone. so now i have to type all over again. please, excuse me.. ARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!

the good -i'm extremely happy & relieved as my results are finally endorsed. yeay!! so that settles my long-winded dissertation process.

the crap -i'm a 'lil annoyed cos i have yet to receive my scholar money to pay for my fees. wanna know what happen? letsee, how to put it as painlessly as i can.. ok, jpa sent me a cheque through my uni (which is unfortunately made jointly to another student. so basically one cheque but two names ler). that was may last year. so here i was wondering where the heck my money has gone to.. i called 'em plenty of times, but u know how red tapes get in the way. when i finally reached the right person, she said 'go check with ur uni'. so i did. in turn, the finance dept told me to wait for them to call me back cos they needed time to dig up the old documents. that was almost two weeks ago, so when they didn't call (surprised?), i did so this afternoon. apparently, there's this BIG problem so he has to check with my sponsor, today (huh, baru nak call today??).. why do i have this sinking feeling that i'll be doing the 'klcc face'^*in the next few days??

so to put my misery at rest, i checked out william hung's (remember my post on feb 5?) audition for american idol 3, hehehe.. that guy definitely cheered me up. for those who've never seen american idol, here's one audition u should never miss! oly, this is especially for u *grin*. watch him here 

for those with 8tv reception, do u watch that show american idol? i started tuning in a couple of nights ago & being someone who's not usually an avid follower of such 'reality shows' (or talent shows for that matter), i am amazed to find myself quite hooked to it.

why? what's so different about the show? well, for one thing, the judges (particularly this british dude called simon & the black dude called randy) are sooo the laser & bloody direct! if u suck, they'll tell u 'u suck'. for those who haven't the foggiest idea about the show, lemme give u an example.. there's this one chinese dude who sang 'she bangs' by ricky martin (hehe, he mistakenly said 'she bang').. he swayed his booty ever so horribly & sounded erm, not too good. if it were hosted by us malaysians, we'll go like, 'er, next'. but randy literally barfed from laughing too loud, paula (the third judge, who's the nicest & less sarcastic among the three) was trying her best to conceal her mirth by shaking along to his off-tune beat & simon, yeah.. mean, old simon, he simply said 'u can't sing, u can't dance.. what have u got to say for yourself?'.. another of my ultimate cringing factor was when this guy who was dubbed a 'goat hybrid' (cos of his weird shakey voice) finished singing, randy purposely rolled back & open-mothed SLEPT while simon just shrugged painfully. the room was in deep silence for a full 10 secs when the goatie asked, 'i take that as a no?'.. and simon retorted, 'yes, that's definitely a NO'.

imagine if we had that kinda thang on our local shows, hehe.. nobody'll ever try out!

whoa.. i had such a gastronomic weekend, i swear i put on an extra 2kg after downing those lemang, ketupat, laksa, cakes & gang. no kidding! i went straight on the weighing scale the minute i could stand. hehe. my aunt had conveniently placed that hideous device nearby! oh, the torture.

wow, there sure are many holidays this time around huh? last night my chinese neighbours were playing the firecrackers again. scares the hell outta me, hehe.. tak main ler the ciput² sounding mercun. these were mega, blasting ones. pretty cool actually, for something so scary sounding. it was something like the ones they played during chinese new year, just not as long & expensive (i think).

y'know, since cny wasn't that far off from new year, i'm in that state of 'ooh, another firework going on'.. so no biggie. it's great living in this country. with so many celebrations, we're in festive mood half year through, hehe.. and this sunday, it'll be raya haji. though it's not as merry as the other raya, my family still preps up food & all. i can imagine how it'll be like -we'll have a small gathering at my eldest aunt's place. then it's eating, talking, eating again, talking again..

oh gawd, pls don't let anyone pester me about my work status!! it's bad enough my male cousin's getting hitched in two weeks time, i'm like, unmarried (thank god there's a bf, if not pressured some more) & unemployed.

i had an ok day this morning. that's by far the best rate i could give my daily adventures, if such thing exists. went exploring through some of my fellow bloggers' sites that i took interest of putting music into mine as well. i dunno.. doesn't quite fit my persona. haha. maybe i'll keep it for a while.

read aida's blog yesterday & find myself quite interested in her entry on flirting. so interested was i that i'm writing about it today (uhuk.. i have such a boring, uneventful life). anyway, she posed the question 'is it wrong to flirt?'.. being bored out of my skull, i simply take pleasure in engaging in this sorta 'intellectual' discourses & will evidently have a say (or two-three says, despite 'em not making any sense) on it. obviously, there's nothing wrong with flirting per se. but i suppose the plot thickens a 'lil if one has a beau or a boo-boo. i do agree with her on one thing though, it's highly probable that one gets terrific service if one smiles & bats an eyelash a bit, hehe..

it's all a matter of preference. u have couples who, despite loving each other dearly, they don't quite like the idea of foregoing their sense of independence & sexuality. so innocent flirting & making (light) passes on others of the opposite sex are no biggie. perhaps they find it a kind of way to rekindle romance in their love lives, to revive their desires for one another or to appear attractive in each other's eyes. that might make sense. on the other hand, we have couples who are totally conservative. they believe one should only have eyes (hearts, hands & legs too for that matter) on their beloved & to no one else. so here, flirting is simply a no-no. then again, we could easily assume these people to have serious insecurity issues.

while i'd like to think myself as open-minded & tolerant, i do get slightly uneasy when my bf finds it okay if other chicks menyotong around him. pre-viva, he was used to being with girls who are flirty & quite touchy-feely among male friends. sad to say, i am & was never like that. even back in my clubbing days, i stick my coyness, eyelash-batting & flying kisses to my guy. maybe i am traditional at heart. ho-boy.. and here i am slamming anyone who's somewhat kampung *viv is feeling pretty bashful*.. i suppose i may have given bf a hard time cos i had a shitty experience before. the Cheating Ex was quite the flirty kind & i didn't mind one bit. but it gave me one shocking effect.. so guess that's why i have my reservations. oh well, that's my problem. i know i shouldn't 'shift the blame' on him.. but it's still hard for me to trust another, even when he's my bf.

nway.. leaving reality, this is one guy i'd luurvvve to flirt with. haha. altogether now.. roll ur eyes!