it's mid-afternoon & i still haven't eaten lunch. not that i'm on a diet (hell no, in fact i gotta put on some weight after an old friend from college asked me bluntly 'why lah u so sekeping?'.. trust me, slim is a compliment but definitely not sekeping), but i'm currently drowned in the surveys i handed out the past 3 weeks (my RA job, remember?). what i have to do for the next few days is to key-in the data.. typical, boring work but i need some bling-bling! as mentioned, i'm thisclose to being broke..

undie story
moving on, my bf had his visa interview yesterday. but the traffic was so bad he was stuck on the road for 2 hours & missed the 10am deadline at the embassy (meaning that he wouldn't be interviewed yesterday & had to come another day). cian my sweetie.. he left mlk at 6am (man that's early), didn't have breakfast & halfway through the jam he felt his bladder about to explode. he said he needed to pee really bad that he contemplated to fill in the empty water bottle at the back of his car.. but stopped himself at the horrid thought of passing motorcyclists, or the aunts & uncles of the nearby cars who couldn't resist a peek. after all, it is jam kan? what else to do but look left, right & centre?

after coaxing him that kl is still not an evil place despite the dreadful jam (he's adamant that his hometown's far better. hello, excuse me? nothing's better than the klang valley yah), i took him to the embassy where we rode on the lrt (he swears off driving for his next attempt this morning) & also showed him where empire tower is for his seminar later the same morning. i guess exhaustion took over him cos he slept all afternoon, only to wake up & go straight to the loo (yes, his bladder works really well).

we were yakking & laughing like always when my sista, upon returning home from work, yelled for me to come to her room pronto. when i did she had this bengang look (hideous look, i tell u) on her face, asking 'did ur bf put his underwear in my baldi? i already washed my undies ok, tu tengah rendam in softlan!!' i was torn between laughing my head off & apologizing profusely to my clearly annoyed sister for his er, i don't know, what do u call it? clumsiness? absurdity? there's nothing wrong with sharing ur laundry with ur gf right? the minute i told him to get up, get ur undies out & put it in the right baldi, he did so as fast as lightning & remained in my room for the rest of the evening (except for dinner where he gladly took my offer of eating out). hehehe.. lawaknye bf i ni. in defending himself, he said 'it's an honest mistake lah.. how was i supposed to know those aren't yours? they all look alike!'. he even told me to label a baldi with my name so it'll be easier for him to chuck his lil friends the next time.

bf & i have been (formally) together for 5 months.. about now, i think i know pretty much what he digs & snoozes to. i'm the first to admit that i'm boring. not boring as in i make people-fall-asleep-with-my-rants, but boring as in not being outgoing. i do have my fair share of outings-lah.. like, i do enjoy watching movies, go to the MPO, watch plays or simply hangout at coffee bean or secret recipe chowing down delish food. one thing that i am not is a sports freak. the only thing i consider as exercise is perhaps, walking the flights of stairs at my uni or going up & down my double-storey house. i'm sooo not fit i think any makcik can beat me at jogging around the park. unfortunately, bf is. not just normal sports like football (yeah, he's a footie freak) but extreme ones too. in college he was into mountain climbing, mountain biking, cross-countrying.. he cycled from london to cambridge once. that's a whopping 7-8 hours distance. he's even into camping & fishing. basically he's an outdoorsy type of guy. i'm aware of this situation & warned him in advance that he can't expect me to ride a bike across m'sia with him (yup, he had that insane idea).

take this coming chinese new year holiday.. that's gonna be quite a long weekend. he's gonna come over & we want to go somewhere to do something fun together. to me, fun equals to sunway lagoon or genting (or somewhere along that line). but he hates crowds (to which i retorted 'but anywhere fun is crowded what') & suggested we go whitewater rafting! good grief. i can't even swim, what if the raft turns over? he laughed, saying i'll wear a safety jacket. memang-lah.. but that still doesn't make my cuak (that's er, anxiety, i think) vanish. we have yet to settle on what we'll do. he might consider genting, but only as a last resort. sheesh.

i know girls are often the ones being submissive. we give in most of the time to what our significant others like. jangan haraplah they wanna see any of those feel-good chick movies or accompany u shopping. luckily i have NY for the former & i don't dig shopping myself. all this cause me to ask myself, can my relationship survive a long period of time with these differences? granted, we do have a lot more commonalities- we love going to movies (though he dislikes the crowd at peak hours), we enjoy 'cultural' activities like trips to the zoo (haha), muzeums & gamelan performances, we both love to pig out (although he pushes me to eat veggie & he doesn't fancy soft drinks. like who doesn't drink pepsi or coke??), we both love to do nothing but laze around watching vcds (not terlampau ones yah), we're both funny (haha, so perasan) and loads more. but it still bugs me a lil.. i kinda worry that i might turn him off one day. what if he gets bored with my lack of enthusiasm in joining him with his activities? so, should i start exercising now & indulge in skydiving/bungee-jumping for upcoming holidays (yess.. he's planning to do all that)?? why not just kill myself in the process. arghh.. the things we do for men!

my bf was in an accident a couple of days ago. apparently he rammed his car onto a pajero- not so much of a head-on collison, more of a profile collision since the sides of both vehicles were GONE (see the capitalised & bold fonts? it shows how bad it was). he was the one driving (i'll story later on how upset i was about the whole thing), so luckily he didn't suffer any injuries. but his passenger (ho-boy) was very shaken, suffered minor cuts & bruises and had to be hospitalised. those in the pajero were unharmed. it's a good thing it was a 4WD & my bf's honda was the really low type, so the result wasn't so bad. i mean, it could be worse. the irony of it all is that, he planned to sell off that honda.. to the poor guy who sat next to him! in demonstrating how fast & power the car could go to his potential buyer, i guess he lost control (either that, or he was damned hungry cos it happened when he was going for lunch).

nway, back to my storying of how upset i am. the minute i got his phonecall (his voice miserably attempting to sound everything's-cool-honey but he was very bad at it so i could hear the edgy panic-stricken in him) i contemplated to yell a 'what were u thinking driving at 100kmph at a bloody corner?!' but my sensible self thought against it so i feebly let out a 'oh.. okay', carefully suppressing my sigh. i went over to mlk (yeah.. being the understanding, considerate & caring gf i am, i quickly drove that 2hr drive two states away to lend my sympathetic shoulder to my pretty shaken bf), listened to his mom ranting on & on (don't blame her) and simply tried my best at making him feel better.

the next day however, when i was sure he was ok, i just HAD to say it. it was then that i let out the 'what were u thinking??', 'u can't be schumaker by driving around a small town, sweetie.. (hehe, itu kena sebut)', 'like u HAVE to add to the piling road statistics..', 'what if u got hurt? real, bad hurt??' i know he's upset, but it annoys me that he seems pretty cool facing his family members, friends & even the potential buyer's family (erk!).. if it was me, sure dig a hole punye. at least showlah some remorse.. i guess that's where guys lack- the ability to show that they're wrong & sorry. really bugs me when he (sometimes) puts on that i'm-a-man-thus-i-must-be-strong-and-cool mode. luckily he admits his fault & said he learnt his lesson. he better, now that he's a few hundred bucks poorer (although the insurance will settle everything) & a few weeks scarce on seeing me. gosh, for a minute there it just occurred to me how easily that i could've lost him. though i don't witness how bad the accident was myself, but his sister & bro-in-law said the crash was quite bad, both vehicles almost became half the original sizes. that gave me a shudder & just made my intention to nag descend a bit. i'm just glad he's ok.

ms. scatterbrain
i got back from mlk this morning. feeling totally snoozy, i had to dash to my uni for some RA meeting. as i quickly changed & gathered my things, i accidentally took my sista's sets of house key. so this afternoon she had trouble getting out of the house to work & had to climb down through the neighbour's roof! er.. sorry Jin. she's quite pissed but forgave my scatterbrainess the minute she saw my sad-puppy look outside our residential area (i rushed back to unlock the house when our cars bumped at the roadside). i can't wait for tonight's work to end.. i need to sleep. zzz... zzz..

i took a peek into joliekin's blog earlier this afternoon & was struck by her latest entry (that's today). she was talking about this guy who had an impact on her back in 1993 (er.. sis jolie, sorry yah if my narration agak off track). not that she's still hung up on the guy (gosh NO! she's so the very happy with her bf, bro Jr i think) but i can totally relate to how she's feeling..

i knew this guy once, also in 1993. lemme call him Belle. he was my first love (think i'll insert the word 'puppy' there, hehe).. nway, Belle & i met in tuition class (ok, before any of u start rolling ur eyes, bear in mind we were in form 3 & pmr was a big deal at the time). i wasn't a pretty thing back then- was really dark, wore glasses & was flat as a beanpole that one can easily mistaken me as a boy. perhaps the only thing that justifies my 'girliness' is my long hair, tu pun i yanked it all the time in a ponytail. it really made me wonder, what the heck did Belle see in me then. was it my wit? my charm? hehe.. whatever it was, i still take it as a complement cos he was very cute & considered quite a catch. lemme recall, how did he look like yah?? oh yes.. he was fair skinned, english speaking, chinese-looking in which he got from his chinese mom, was just about my height (though when i bumped into him several years ago he has sprouted to almost 6 feet), athletic thin & had this really nice eyes.. think it was dark brown, i dunno, never stared at it for too long. i was very shy at the time, hehe.. he courted me for almost 6 months till everything ended. so what happened? well, what do u expect from 14 year olds? i never had a real bf before that so i really didn't know what to do, or how to react with his advances. he on the other hand, like any other boys, just got bored i suppose. we ended quite badly, each name-calling the other (yeah.. very mature). i don't know what happened to Belle now.. maybe he's engaged or married. maybe still alone. i dunno.

in retrospect, i realised that all my previous bfs (or guys i have a so-called fling with) bear an uncanny resemblance to Belle. not that i set out those criteria on purpose. u can't really force ur preferences, can u? they are all fair skinned, taller than me (that's a total must cos i'm quite tall for a malay girl), chinese-looking & speaks english on a regular basis. only one ex was chubby & another has quite a poor command of english. the only difference among them is in personality -obviously. we try to seek better personalities as we age, don't we girls?-, in which my current bf wins hands down. he's by far the smartest (grad from IC gitu) and funniest (always makes me laugh) guy i've ever known. not to sound corny or anything but i've this strong feeling that he could be it.



DID U KNOW?
>>In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. That's where the phrase, "goodnight, sleep tight" came from!

>>It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer, and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the "honeymoon."

>>In ancient England a person could not have sex unless you had the consent of the King(unless you were in the Royal Family). When anyone wanted to have a baby, they got consent of the King & he gave them a placard that they hung on their door while they were having sex. The placard had F.U.C.K. (Fornication Under Consent of King) on it. Now you know where that came from.

hehe.. ntah ye ke tak but they are funny nonetheless.
(courtesy of BDI)

why do people call it the monday blues? obviously it's got nothin' to do with colours. is it simply told as an excuse for our lack of motivation & mood to start the week by doing whateva we're fated to do? yeah.. maybe that's it. it definitely has something to do with our minds playing tricks on us, or 'psychology' they call it. we think that monday equals to 4 weekdays ahead of us, therefore we feel the week's taking so long to finish. when we finally reach the weekend, it'll be like, 'thank god it's friday!!' & we'll all jump up in joy, breezing our ways past through sat & sun.. of course when monday rears its ugly head again, our happy moods will make a U-turn. poor monday.

hah. what lah i merepek ni. blame it on the blues people. i guess the only thing that can take the blues off my monday would be for me to get a surprise gift or a job offer.. or a cutie waiting out my front door (rephrase: my bf waiting outside my front door step). aah.. what a way to start the week!

blues aside, i bumped into bro J at the admin office this afternoon. he said they'll interview me sometime this month, so prep up! i was all smiles rather than nervous. but thinking back, it's been a while since i endured an interview. gosh.. what should i do? what are the do's & don'ts? maybe i better start panicking.

u know what i'd love to do today? what i really, really would LOVE to do on this lovely sunday? i'd just love to lay in bed.. wake up late.. drown myself in the covers.. my soft, squeashy comforter. but no.. i had to drag (literally speaking) myself up so darn early to catch the MBA class that starts at 9am. urgh.. the life! and why am i doing all this? becos of some measly pay, a couple of bucks for my effort as an RA (that's research asst. as told in my previous entry. think it was mentioned in dec 18th)..

i am thisclose to being dead broke. hence my running around working this odd job.. to add to this awful state is my still-pending status from the cps (that's postgrad centre). my results aren't released yet due to technical error. on a different occasion, my HOD told me to wait for the interview letter from the uni, which is soon. soon? do u know how very subjective soon is? i could rot long before that soon comes. just when i thought of applying work elsewhere (which proves to be another dilemma cos i still don't have a full transcript due to the aforementioned technical error), she told me not to. the way she talks, really brings my hopes up. it scares the hell out of me, iye ke? betul ke?.. but it still sucks having to wait & feeling broke all at the same time.

i'm beginning to feel the pressure of being an unemployed graduate. raya time was the worst. nosy aunts & uncles, even cousins who weren't that close were all bombarding me with the same questions, 'dah abis dah?' 'bile start keje?' 'u bukan scorer ke? why tak keje2 lagi??' i don't think it helps to try & explain my predicaments.. how to put it all in one simple sentence: i've finished. now awaiting results (thing is, i already know my results. just waiting for the bloody result slip to be endorsed & printed). my dept HOD told me to wait for the interview letter, which she assuringly guarantees me of getting (the job that is, not just the interview). imagine me trying to spell all that out to hundreds of ppl (ok, exaggerating figure). tiring u know. and that's if they got it. what if they don't? buang saliva je.

my bf's being very supportive. he's been through it.. he was unemployed (not in the actual sense. more like, going through the processes of getting the job as the job's there for us to take) for a month after he returned from studying abroad. but it's still frustrating!! what a way to start new year.. hopefully there's a silver lining behind this cloud i'm facing.

a brand new look for a brand new year, hehe.. new years often signify a brand new u.. but i've a feeling i'll still be the same ol' me. heh. so the four of us went & watched the fireworks at klcc on new year's eve. yeah yeah, i know i said earlier that we might be staying home to avoid the jam & all but hey, the fireworks are awesome. that's what i always say each year "no. i'm not going out on new year's eve. the jam's horrendous. no." but after seeing the fireworks & all the happy faces around me (god knows why the heck are they all happy).. there's no remorse, no regret at enduring the tuna-sandwich experience of pushing our ways thru the crowded lrts.

approximately at midnight, while we were gazing the sky all wide-eyed & open-mouthed, my bf got a call, a happy new year wish from his good friend B, who happens to be Bitter Penyu's bestfriend. sheesh, don't we all go in circles.. and to make our cycle better, B is actually my bestfriend's hubby's ex (let's call him H). haha.. i know, i really should endorse all this connection to a drama script. about 45 mins later, B called her H, wishing him a happy new year. she said she was with 'a friend' & saw us at klcc, but they didn't wait for the fireworks & was on the way back when she called my bf. we all had this intellectual guess on who that 'friend' is. my bestfriend had always said that it'd be Bitter's ultimate nightmare if she was to bump into us, all four of us.. and it'd be more Freddy Kruegerish if we were all holding hands. hehe.. she'll turn blue! ok, i don't intend to be mean but if one's nasty to u, u certainly can snicker about it. NY (ok, i'm shortforming my bestfriend to her initials) and i slept really late, around 4am that night, bitching about y'know who. see? we never talked bout her to begin with but she made us do it! i firmly told NY to stop trying to get on her good side. what's the point? all she does is accuse NY for being a kepohchee (that's nosy), trying to ruin her life (by what? an accidental phonecall & saying 'hi, how are u?') & calls my bf at 12.15 in the morning. why bother being nice to this sorta ppl? i dunno.. i'm always simple in thinking. if a person doesn't treasure my friendship, then fek it. go fly kite. but NY's not like that.. she's a sincerely honest & warm person. she'd die before letting anyone else not be her friend. hehe.. how 12-13 sounding is that huh. she even asked my bf for opinion (given their past, he did know Bitter well enuff to say how psychotic she can be) on whether or not she should say sorry (though we're all not entirely sure for what).. he said forget it. bitter will only take it the wrong way & assume NY has something else up her sleeve.

ok, moving on.. lum apa2 lagi i've broken my new year's resolution. didn't buy the papers yesterday cos we were all tangled in lotr. bf & i crashed at bestfriend & H's house -a very nice, comfy condo at the outskirts of kl- and the next morning, after breakfast (in which bf & i prepared nasi lemak, a so-called traditional malay cuisine) we all laid sprawled watching the previous lotrs. that's a whopping 6 hours. later, we were too tired to move, but made lunch nonetheless.. so where got time to go out & buy the paper? after lunch H and NY drove us to where we parked my car the night before & we returned to my house. he was supposed to balik mlk that night but my poor sweetie had a slight fever, complete with flu, so he only went back this morning after subuh.

so that's all of my tale for my new year happenings. not much i know, but enuff to jot on this blog, hehe..

holy cow. i just realised my entry on 31/12 ada salah laa.. i broke up 2 years ago, so by right, it shouldn't be the backtrack of 2003 but 2002. hahaha.. ciss, malu je. but it just shows how totally over i am. hehe.. tahun pun tak ingat tu! go ME!!

wow, the year's finally coming to an end huh. time sure flies. it feels like only yesterday that my girlfriends & i were squeezing our ways along the klcc park, watching last year's fireworks.. and this year? same ritual, only with different people. my bestfriend, her hubby, my bf & i are planning to get in touch with our young selves & catch the fireworks. after the countdown, it's kiasu time to get on the lrt home- after last year, there's no way am i gonna drive on new year's eve! traffic horror-morror.

backtracking down 2003, i can say that a LOT has happened.
-had a stormy breakup with my cheating, two-faced, lying schmuck of an ex just three months before our 3rd year anniversary, on Valentine's day. i knew something was wrong but he refuses to tell me even when i asked him if there's someone else (horrid ain't it? i gave him a chance to 'fess up). i was tipped off by a mutual friend that he was having dinner with his new squeeze at victoria station rest. so i went over there & joined in the party. hehe.. should've captured that kodak moment. it was priceless- his & her faces, that is. on a good note, i'm so over that & can easily brush past him with no grudge now. honest.
-went through a semi-depressive state, walking about with an unintentinal scowl (which my bestfriend calls it the 'klcc face'). on the brighter side, i loss quite a lotta weight, so i looked better (i think).
-met my current bf through the most unpredictable way. we met on the net, only to find out later that he was my bestfriend's hubby's ex-housemate AND bitter penyu's ex.. all this happened while they were in london. and i am soo besotted. he's a wonderful person & one of the best thing that has ever happened to me. i'm so glad my ex cheated on me! hehe
-completed my masters
-traded in my beloved charade with a not-so-happenin' kancil (sorry KAX, but i very much preferred the aura)

my bf woke me with an unpleasant phone call this morning. apparently his ex called him at quarter past midnight this morning to vent out for over an hour & to, so-called, salvage her pride. what? ok, i think a 'lil intro of the situation would certainly help. i've been with my bf for 4 months now, but we've known each other for over a year before that. this ex was his gf waay back when they were in uni together in london. they broke up like, three yrs ago. so suffice to say, they are soo history. nway, to put more twist in our story (or added drama in our lurve lives, hehe), this ex is one of my bestfriend's scholar mate & hence, colleague at the same office now. there shouldn't be any problems really cos it's not like i came between them or anything (in fact, my bf had another gf after her).. but she just had to make everything so complicated by being so weird!

i mentioned about a certain bitter penyu in one of my earlier entries (dec 16th i think). this is the girl. absurd as it may sound, she's paranoid that my bestfriend & i have nothing better to do than talk about her behind her back- she's convinced that we feel sorry for her, conjured up notions that i'm feeling insecure & badmouthed my bestfriend as being busybody about her life.. granted, my bestfriend made a mistake when she accidentally dialled bitter's extension & in an effort to cover (why need to cover in the first place? cos bitter's been distancing herself & refusing to hangout with the other scholars lately ), asked her "how're things.. btw, i heard u know that ur ex is going out with my bestfriend now". bitter's so adamant that my friend called her up on purpose to gloat (huh? what tha hell for??).. even as i write, she still believes that & despite others telling her it was a mistake (including my bf), she won't believe and maintains "huh, manada accidental? i know she sengaja je call me. why she so sibuk about my life? i don't care about my ex going out with her friend ok, so just stop talking about me & leave me alone!" <-- ok, this one may not be her exact words but they are remnants of what i heard from my bestfriend, who in turn, heard it from another colleague.

seriously, apa masalah pompuan ni? she insists that she's over him & don't give a damn as to who he dates etc.. then why-lah acting so over? ni call him malam2 buta (even i don't do that) to supposedly 'salvage her pride' cos she thinks he sees her in a bad light. she's annoyed that he knows of her 'friction' with my bestfriend. hello? ni sapa yang caused the friction? there wouldn't be any damn friction to begin with if she didn't act so wired up kan? honestly, would u care about what ur ex thinks? unless there are unsettled issues, i doubt anyone would give a hoot. i certainly don't.. lantak-lah my ex is going out with a model ke, nak kawin ke.. why should i care on his thoughts of me?

i really think she's mental.. bitter & mean as well. i'm not being judgmental and am not simply saying this based on how she's acting the past few months (yeah, all this so-called friction's been happening for quite a while). i knew her before this since i'm aware of all of my NY's pals from uni & work- we used to hangout, watch theatre & plays, have dinners. i thought we were friends. obviously she doesn't think so. adaka dia cakap to my bestfriend (during their 'accidental' phone call) "alah.. they both tu baru je. i give them 6 months" and "mamat tu memang lah ignore me now cos tengah happy. tunggulah when got problems kang, sure he'll call me. now i'm just waiting for the time he contacts me back". what?! she has that much confidence huh. i'm quite annoyed at hearing that, but i know she purposely wanted me to know it (if not, why tell my bestfriend). but no sir-ree, i won't let myself be bothered by it. i think she feels better kot if she hurts me. weird witch.

what, was wawa thinking?? ok, i know i didn't do my fair share as her temporary manager (i sorta ditched the idea & never gave a hoot during the rehearsals cos i was busy with my own thing) but jeans & pagoda tees are so out of her theme! time initial planning beriya sakan, i thought it'd be nice or at least, meriah la sikit for the song. good grief. i cringed big time the minute i saw her dancers prance around in their not-so-flattering moves.. and they were buncit! erk!! nasib baik her vocal performance maintain - i suppose she was wise enough not to glance ar her dancers. if not, sure hilang concentration. my bf gelak gile & teased me "where on earth did ur friend find those dancing dudes?".. "u better sack her manager, dear".. aargh!! nasib baik menang.

PET'S IN TOWN on a lighter note, my old email friend Pet is in town. i think he's on his semester break now. it'll be a while before he returns to nz. Pet & i have this history gak, hehe.. it's quite funny actually. when we were in college doing our a-levels, i had a crush on his friend, Piggy. i think i was being held captive by a poltergeist or something cos till now i fail to see what the heck was i thinking. nway, after enduring several horrendous moments of approaching the Piggy (eeu.. see? i was a mad woman) & being played yo-yo by him (he macam nak reciprocate but kept cool. alah, u know the drill of guys yang perasan player ni lah kan), i swore him off. time tu i gile bitter & kinda swore off his gang as well - there were 5 guys in his gang, konon the cool dudes of our batch lah. ntah camne a few months after a-levels, i got to know Pet- yeah, he had to be one of Piggy's groupies- in cyberspace (er, don't ask what i was doing there). it was quite awkward at first, knowing that he knew what happened between Piggy& me, but he was cool nonetheless. we soon became good email buddies, bouncing emails back & forth ever so frequently & continued to email each other even after he flew to nz to further his studies.. and we still do, keeping each other up-to-date with our lives till now. he was also one of my ahli panel who gave advise & kept my head sane during my courtship-cum-challenging period with my current bf. hehe. he's really a nice guy.. and did i mention that he's quite rich & cute as well? hehe.. so, single ladies out there, wanna get to know this friend o' mine? as i was saying, he's in town & i just received an email from him, complete with hp number, for us to hangout if ever i go to klcc.